I Hate Murphy
by blariviere
Summary: SI. Honestly if my luck was any worse I would be dead right now, watch as I struggle in a world full of homicidal morons, among other things.


Lets start with this is not me, there are similarities but that is to be expected with an original character.

I don't own Mass Effect or any other game or movie that may show up.

-/I Hate Murphy/-

I would say I'm a pretty normal guy, nothing really remarkable about me. But that doesn't change that there's a good chance I'm going to die in the next few minutes, however let's get some perspective on how we got to this point...

-/I Hate Murphy/-

Things started out innocently, was just touching up my character to go on my latest run-through in Mass Effect 2, I always start any character in ME 1 then play it through to ME 3, it gives the story more realism I think.

It was pretty standard: Female , black hair, green eyes, and just as i was going to pick her name something strange happened.

I really should have noticed it before honestly, it was a clear sunny day outside a few minutes ago but now it was storm-cast and ominous.

I jump back from the game as thunder boomed and Lightning struck the house causing the whole house to go dark, my hand finds the backpack from my trip to Europe, not even unpacked.

I grope around in the dark for my phone, keeping my grip on my backpack, why I don`t know. My eyes flash to the TV as I see it spark several times, I start back-pedalling to the door as the sparks increase till they look almost fluid.

Then seeming almost alive they whip out towards me, I dodge twice but its futile, somehow these things have a grip on me, I can feel them dragging me towards the TV, even as I get minor burns from them.

As I get closer I can hear a strange garbled voice, it keeps repeating a sentence. Finally I can hear it mostly clearly:

-W-w-arni-ing S-sy-ste-mm CC-or-upp-t-ion-n D-e-ttec-t-ted-

Suddenly the screen flashes bright for a moment then fills with machine code, whipping down the page faster than I can see, let alone read.I cling to my backpack for something to hold on to,while the ends of a large plastic bag full of purchases from a previous Comic-on gets tangled up around my leg.

More strands of electricity reach for me and keep pulling me forward, till the only thing i can see is the screen of the tv, then the screen brightens till it is blinding, all I can hear is a screeching, then everything descends into oblivion...

-/I Hate Murphy/-

And now we return to the present.

I'd like to say I woke gracefully, that I didn't panic, unfortunately I didn't even get the chance to panic. The moment I open my eyes all I can see is the muzzle of a gun pointed at my face.

My words are not eloquent, I barely even notice my voice is much higher than it should be or that my body feels different, I can only say "Fucking Murphy"

The Krogan on the other end of the massive shotgun surprisingly nods in agreement."Pretty Much"

"Can I ask why?" I mean I haven't done anything yet so far as I can tell.

He shrugs his shoulders, a surprisingly human gesture."On Omega, weakness is death, that's all there is to it"

As he is about to fire his gun however, the situation is abruptly resolved by the addition of a large dagger into the base of his chin up into his brain.

The one holding it is very familiar as she fades into visibility; Katsumi Goto."Invisibility trumps the food chain every time"She turns to me, "now what am I going to do about you cutie?"

I'm still out of it from the adrenalin and as she walks towards me she can see faint eddies of biotic energy flowing off my body, as I lay still staring at where the gun was earlier.

When she gets close enough she grips my chin and looks close at my eyes, which are dilating randomly,"You need to get up cutie, we need to get you somewhere safe for you to calm down"

As I manage to focus on her face I barely nod, with her help stumbling to my feet on trembling legs. Still slurring my speech a little i manage to say something, "K-Katsumi, bring my bags, t-theey are going to be valuabl-le."

With little effort she swings my backpack onto my shoulders and picks up my comic-con bag with the hand supporting me, keeping her gun hand free.

-/I Hate Murphy/-

She seems to already have a reputation as nobody tries anything on the way, when we get there she sets me on a couch with my things beside me.

As I finish calming down from my earlier fear she opens my backpack without any guilt whatsoever, and the first thing she finds is my laptop, as she boots it up and hacks into it effortlessly she stops and grins at seeing my desktop's background.

"I feel so flattered, but who is this on the other side?"

As I glance over I see her pointing at the background, which features a wallpaper with Her and Jack on it with an image of the Normandy in the back with the title Mass Effect above it.

"Well this is awkward, how can I explain this without sounding crazy?"

As I try to think up a response Katsumi continues rummaging through my backpack," Take your time cutie, I'm pretty open minded after that incident in Ilium with those Asari." this she said with a little grin.

"Here goes then, I'm James Lupus and I seem to have been transported into a reality where a game I was playing, called Mass Effect, seems to be real. So do you think I'm crazy?"

I look over at Katsumi and see she's holding up the case for Mass Effect 1, all the other ones were in my room rather than my pack, the look on her face is unreadable, but her response is encouraging."I think there may be some truth in your story. So what, all this is a game, its not real?"

I shake my head firmly, "More like everything fictional can be reality somewhere, I am living proof that a guy can apparently move through dimensions."

Katsumi cocks her head in thought, "Why are you saying guy? as far as I can tell your a girl, a pretty hot girl and potently very powerful biotic, but still a girl."

I look at a mirror with a sense of dread and see she's right, Female, Black hair, Grey eyes, quite good looking and apparently a biotic too. My response is so predictable Katsumi already has her arms out to catch me as I faint..._'Fucking Murphy'._

-/I Hate Murphy/-

And that's Cut! Cookie to anyone who figures out my trump card.

And of course Review!

Blariviere/


End file.
